Forget flowers. Forget jewelery.
It’s time to give something a little more meaningful than the stereotypical gifts. It’s time to open up the doors to giving something more of yourself this year. You’ll want to give something that can’t really be purchased, and something that will last much longer and create deeper bonds between you.
And that thing is compassionate touch. We’re not talking about your standard massage here. We’re talking about a meaningful Thai massage with conscious and intentional loving touch.
Why is this what we all really want? Here are 5 reasons (and notice how many of them you’ve heard your partner asking for before!)
- It’s an experience, rather than a material gift. Not only is it an experience, giving your partner a massage also means that you’re helping her/him de-stress, release tension and feel happier.
- It requires quality time with each other, without distraction. Not only that but it also requires you to pay attention to your partner in a profound way – we all know that deep listening is an incredibly important element of any relationship. Listening through touch and through verbal requests in a massage ensures that they feel heard, loved and gives them your undivided attention in return. And, that’s what quality time is all about.
- Deeper bonds are created through compassionate touch – more of that important love-hormone Oxytocin is released, and so really you’re actually making him/her continuously fall in love with you! It would almost be trickery if they didn’t already know this.
- Compassionate touch is something that just keeps on giving – having the skills to give Thai massage gives you an endless repertoire of appropriate ways to care for loved ones. Yes, it might mean you’re on the hook for weekly massages, but you know what – if he or she reciprocates then everyone wins on all levels.
- Practicing ways that our partner prefers to be touched lovingly (not intimately) means that our touch-vocabulary improves. Yes, there is such a thing as ‘touch-vocabulary’ and you may be more fluent than you know. And as you get more comfortable with compassionate touch, you’ll basically become the best hugger of all time (I’m claiming that label for now, but I’d be willing to share the title with you once you’ve proven yourself 😉 ).
Without taking too much of your time, because I know you’ll have left your Valentine’s Day shopping very late, the basic things you need to ensure are:
- Slow it down – my main mantra. Let your partner have a nice relaxing experience for their massage. Oh and obviously moving slowly means you won’t be shaking them by the shoulders.
- Turn off all other distractions – no tv, no radio, no phones (not even on vibrate!) but maybe a little soft music. Remember this is quality time.
- Listen to their requests – if the pressure is too much, then ease off – don’t tell them they’re fine! Remember this is compassionate touch, not “you’ll-take-what-you-get” touch.
This advice comes with a warning: Taking your Valentine’s gift to the next level like this will set a precedent that you will not be able to back down from. In future you may be expected to show compassion in other, random life-situations, you may be expected to seek out relationship-affirming experiences from now on instead of simply getting a material gift and being done with it, and possibly the most scary thing of all is that you may be required to be tender, loving, responsive and emotive from this day onwards. Oh, and you may just keep them loving you back forever and ever.
It’s a big decision. Choose wisely.
(For more than the basic points above and to build your skills, CLICK HERE for the Valentine’s Day special offer.)