Touch is something that we are commonly deprived of in our society. We’re actively discouraged from touching others. Changing this is a critical part of a brighter future for the world and humanity – so many of our modern issues are being caused by a lack of empathy and from a disconnection from our innate humanity. Compassionate touch is one of the most profound influencers of empathy and developing connections and relationships with others, especially in the first few years of our lives.
It’s one thing to highlight what we need, but it’s also important to discuss how we can achieve such a lofty goal. It’s just like learning a new language. It really is an entirely separate language and it takes dedicated practice and effort when developing touch fluency. It’s our most ancient language of communication, but we’ve largely forgotten it.
Here are a few of our top tips to start you off on the right foot:
- Self Massage – believe it or not, self-massage helps improve comfort in touching other people. Self-massage also helps you build sensitivity for what pressure feels like. It has the added benefit of improving the dialogue you have with your own body. Your neck, shoulders and face are great starting places for self-massage.
- Hug people more – chances are you’ve already heard of the innumerable benefits of hugging. Making it a daily practice with your tribe eventually enhances your fluency with hugging – even people you’re meeting for the first time.
- Emphasize important moments with touch – when giving someone a compliment or saying thank you (or any number of other scenarios), add in a touch on the arm or shoulder. Without anything else, this action alone produces deeper meaning that is felt by the person you’re communicating with!
Making each of these a part of your daily habits improves your comfort and skill in compassionate touch. It also makes everyone feel really great.
Enjoy re-learning one of the only universal languages!!
For more on developing greater touch vocabulary and on the importance of touch, read: “Touch: The Most Ancient Language.“, “Don’t Like To Be Touched – What Can I Do?” and “The Development Of Inappropriate Touch“.
Thank you Drew. For me, I’ve experienced a deep sense of guilt and shame growing up in my late teens and early twenties after experiencing ridicule by friends as a young person because I would love to hug everyone and had inclinations toward being touch oriented in all relationships. Once friends started dating and growing up, it was less and less comfortable. I recall a longing to understand what had shifted. I found for some years it turned into an unhealthy pattern when trying to get this need met. I do believe that we are not encouraged to be touch oriented unless it was a strong language in your family. This resonates fully, and I believe doing education around touch such as trust exercises, partner yoga, etc. can be helpful for young people to develop this earlier and feel comfortable with the communication around it as well.