You know when you get a massage and your practitioner is on the perfect spot and with the perfect pressure that it feels so intense and yet you don’t want it to stop because there’s some part of you that knows that this is exactly what you need?
I’ve been thinking how it is we distinguish between that “delicious” pain and other intensities that might not be beneficial for us?
As in, how is it that we interpret some intensities to be beneficial in the long run – and so we even like it and pay money for it (hello our profession), whereas perhaps a slightly different degree or type of intensity is understood by our brains to be undesirable and something we don’t want?
There are of course subjective elements to this equation – like how much pressure is needed from the practitioner in order to get that “delicious” sensation, but for the most part the sensation itself is reasonably universal – a shared experience by many, regardless of how much pressure it takes to get there.
I say “reasonably” universal because I’ve also come to learn over the years that there are some people who actually DON’T get that melty-good-intensity sensation in massage.
Once upon a time I wrote this article (here) and in a course soon after, a student said “there’s no such thing as “delicious” pain – pain is horrible and we shouldn’t say that it’s anything but that”.
At the time I thought “there’s definitely a deliciousness to that pain”, but I didn’t respond that way of course. I took the time to explain that we’re certainly not diminishing anyone’s experience of pain by describing certain versions of it as delicious, and also made a mental note about it. Because I wondered if that was a product of the fear of pain and perhaps having had that dimisihed by others over the years, OR if there was also something else happening there – like that this person actually didn’t feel that same melty-ouch that most others do.
Sure enough, years later, I’ve now come across a handful of people who don’t experience massage pressure this way. Instead, the sensation is tolerated because they logically understand what’s happening instead of an intrinsic feeling of benefit.
At least in a couple of these people I’ve noticed traits of EDS (Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome) as well and I wonder if that has something to do with it, but it also hasn’t been a mutually exclusive relationship.
I’m also wondering, how many of you are there out there? Are YOU one of these folks that scratches their head when hearing “delicious” pain, wondering what we’re on about? I’d love to know. I’d also love to know how often you get massage – or do you? Let me know if you can take a moment.
In terms of how we distinguish between those beneficial degrees of intensity from other, less-helpful degrees – well, I had a theory back in 2017 when I wrote that article above. I’ll stand by it for now until I can come up with a better reasoning. Here’s the link again if you’d like to read it.
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